>THE WEEK IN REVIEW + YOUR TABLE>>

So Friday night [at work] was the night from hell--I just had to go to Lure for some cava... Two glasses later, I ended up at Merc Bar for another round.

I'd never been to Merc Bar before and I never really wanted to go there either (something about those cow fur ottomans), but actually, it wasn't so bad.

"Do you have cava?"

"Yea."

"Can I get a pint of cava?"

"A pint?"

"Yea."

"I like that (grin)...

I only charged you for one."

I also met and chatted with Teresa, one of the hostesses there. She was gorgeous and friendly... always a winning combination.

Saturday wasn't bad (I was even in the mood to wear my bow tie). M.J. passed the podium a handful of times, but I was too engrossed in mapping out my open tables to notice (not that I would have reacted in any outwardly manner anyway... I've already seen him plenty of times and was present when L.M. proposed to him in the lobby).

But in retrospect, if he did make eye contact with me (which has yet to happen), I may have given him my "You've Been Blogged" card since I did write a recent post about him... (But actually, I probably wouldn't have--I don't think it 'most kosher' for staff to be handing out their personal business cards to guests.)

Sunday was a "double" and the only perk to working doubles is that you get to order something from the "guest menu" for lunch... Later that night, David and I watched Three on a Match, a very early Bette Davis flick (with a very novice performance).

Yesterday, I did not set my alarm, but finally slept in! As I headed down from the 5th floor I was hoping that there'd be a magazine in our mailbox; I was really craving some new reading material (for the past year, I've been trying to finish The Best and The Brightest... I plan to finish it by May).

As I turned the key, unlatching the mailbox door, I was instantly dazzled upon discovering this:

"David, do you mind if I take New York to work?"

It was a good article. And I think that maybe, our old roommate, Dorian, had the right idea when she said that Lady Gaga is the new Warhol.

"Andy Warhol's books became her bible... She would highlight them with a pen."

(Excerpt from New York)

I finished only the first half on my way to work, then the rest over some cava at Lure (with my favorite bartender, Laura).

(Later that night, I finished reading the rest of New York and there was no mention of FROM BEHIND THE OPEN TABLE. I sent them an e-mail referencing the similarities between my blog and their most recent issue... what did I have to lose?)

>The Maître d' Will Be Right With You>>

So, an explanation of the way (most) restaurants seat their guests, because I'm not just being snooty.

Last night, I had to seat two nice ladies on table 24--not the best table in the house, but not the worst either. After my host sat the two guests, I wondered, if they were thinking, "Gee, he must really hate us--what a shitty table." But really, table 24 isn't a bad table at all, it's just not a banquette.

Most restaurants break up their tables into sections, assigning each server to a different section.

"Can I have that table?"

"For that table, it'll be just a few minutes."

"But why? There's no one sitting in it."

"I just sat the server in that section and he just need a few minutes to catch up."

They almost never understand...

Imagine this:

-You have a restaurant with 8 (2 top) tables and 1 server covering them all.

-You open for dinner at 5 and immediately, 8 couples walk into your restaurant asking for a table.

-If you had sat all 8 couples at once, your server would probably feel a little overwhelmed and rush through each table's orders hence, giving subpar service.

-In the meantime, the remaining tables are waving their arms, trying to get somebody's attention and asking for menus, etc.

-But your server can't get to them because he is busy running with a tray full of drinks (and a martini!) to table 1 so he can quickly put in their food orders and return to the bar to retrieve the drinks (which have been sitting) for table 2 to put in their food orders and then finally get to table 3 to greet them, put in their drink orders and then drop off menus at table 4 (and he still has tables 5, 6, 7 and 8 to get to... and in the meantime, table 1 has a question).

Now imagine this:

-You have the same scenario, but this time, you seat the first party, ask the other parties to "join us by the bar for just a few moments";

-Wait a few minutes, seat the 2nd party;

-Wait a few minutes, seat the 3rd party;

-Wait a few minutes, seat the 4th party... you get the picture.

In the latter scenario, your server will not feel like he has to rush through a table's orders, hence, giving each table a higher level of service.

In the meantime, your remaining guests at the bar are comfortably seated and being well attended to by your friendly bar staff.

(Additionally, in the latter scenario, your kitchen will not get slammed, which would lead to a whole other host of problems.)

So that is why, sometimes, a host may tell you that you cannot have a particular table (at a particular moment), but may offer you a couple alternatives.

And then just a few minutes later, you may see someone else sitting at the table you had just previously requested. ("Why couldn't I have that table?" --"You could have, if you would have been willing to wait by the bar for just a few minutes.")

And of course, there's always the scenario where the remaining open tables (sometimes specific tables) are being held for reservations.

"Why can't you seat me when you have all these open tables?"

"I have reservations coming in... it wouldn't be fair of me to give away their table."

I think sometimes, people just want to give me a hard time. > >